Reaction to Trauma Originally Published at Pasadena Villa The underpinning principles of recovery are about improving our spiritual condition. But what creates the suffering in life that breaks down our spirit and thus, our spiritual condition? And how are the soul...

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS Original Posting at Journey Pure  As the family member of a loved one who has freshly finished alcohol/drug treatment, you may be wondering what you should or shouldn’t say or do during a holiday gathering.  It’s a new day for the family dynamics...

EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL Most addicts and alcoholics have a built-in, well-refined ability to emotionally manipulate others. Since the people that are in close relationships with them are usually caught between hope and fear, the manipulation takes on a dysfunctional lock...

SHAME BLAMERS A good friend in the "Bongo Girls" coffee group coined a fabulous term in a group coffee session..."Shame Blamers". (Thank you Kari Estrin at www.kariestrin.com). I am not totally sure what she meant, but I am going to write a blog on what I think it is....

HEALTHY CODEPENDENCY? When the word codependency comes up in the therapy room, people often say "Everyone's codependent.”  And I usually agree. Really. It's true, it seems most people have this feature to some degree.  So what does this term really mean?  Well, for...

EMOTIONAL BALANCE vs CHEMICAL VACATION We hear the term "emotional balance" a lot, but what does it really mean?   It is so easy to get overwhelmed in today's world.  Inside of the trappings of overachieving and "busy-ness" is just that... a trap.  When it feels like...

GASOLINE & FIRE Two addicts or alcoholics in a romantic relationship are like gasoline and fire.  The passion runs high on the positive end and on the negative end. Often times these relationships are filled with psychodrama and vicious arguing.  Two people...

ADDICTION • NATURE or NURTURE In the rooms of AA, one often hears, "Do you drink because you have problems or do you have problems because you drink?"  Truth be told, it's both. I once read that SHAME is the greatest determining factor as to whether or not a person...

DOES TEXTING CREATE LONELINESS? A new survey by the American Psychological Association (APA) found about 90 per cent of people aged 18-29 were using social media, up from just 12 per cent in 2005.  That means that we have a had a culture shift during that time in the...

Attachment, Relationship Trauma and Addiction Early Attachment Issues, Trauma and Addiction (This blog is not an opinion or a commentary. It is more like a book report from a great webinar I watched today. Please see link reference below.) Whether or not we are...

Managing Seasonal Affective Disorder We often hear the phrase “it’s that time of year” when talking about a health issue like the flu season. Well, it’s that time of year for seasonal depression as well. Often lasting from the Fall months all the way through to early...

THE ENABLING MATRIX When a substance user’s behavior becomes a continual negative spiral downward in life, more and more pressure gets put on the family members or friends to fill in the gaps and fix problems. These problems are being creating as a direct consequence...