The word “broken” in this verse means “broken, crushed, destroyed” in the Hebrew and even might mean “violently destroyed”. The word also means “crushed, literally like powder, destroyed”. The word “contrite” means “collapsed, physically or mentally, sore, This is the condition of most all people with an eating disorder.
But how does the heart get broken down so badly? This is the result of rejection, abandonment, divorce, bullying, loneliness, all sorts of abuse by parents caregivers and others, neglect and other pains experienced in childhood. A child has a heart like a tender reed. It is innocent and trusting and impressionable. When pains happen to a child, they often hold them in their souls and do not understand what has happened to them as they blame themselves, The developmental qualites of egocentrism is basically understood that when something bad happens to a child or around a child, he/she internalizes it as being about themselves. This has a very negative effect on the self-esteem of a child. When small hurts happen daily, they build up to make big breaks in the spirit of a child. It is like a compound fracture of the soul.
The Father of Suicidology studies in the U.S. was Edwin Schneidman. He developed a term called “psyche-ache”. The word “psyche” comes from the Greek work “psyke” which refers to the soul, mind or spirit. Basically this term means “an aching soul”. He referred to this aching soul as being from the “bifurcated state” that a person gets in when they want to kill themselves. “Bifurcated” means “split in two” or “divided into two branches or forks”. Often, when we interact with people, we are acting from the side of the soul that can cope with the world. The other side is kept secret and covered up as much as possible because of fear of judgement, fear of feeling like a failure among other reasons.
So what does this broken spirit feel like? It feels like one with depression, low self-esteem, distorted self concept and self-perception, anxiety, all kinds of fears like fear of getting fat, fear of certain foods, anger, frustration and desperation, and despair. In order to cope with all these feelings, we start to develop compulsive behaviors to distract from this pain and actual physical heart ache.
With addiction as well as eating disorders, once we have built the complicated relationship with the substance, we start to relate to it like a toxic relationship. We feel happy when we have succeeded operating within this distorted system and despair and self-loathing when we fail inside this matrix. The whole thing is built on a systemic lie. The lie is that we cannot cope with emotions or that we, with eating issues, have to appear a certain way in order to be like and to like ourselves. We are attached to something that came in from the pit of hell and now it has its hold on us. It is feeding on the brokenness. This is always how Satan operates. that’s why it is so important to love ourselves and begin to fight the spiritual warfare that it takes to overcome this negative relationship with substances or food or a process addiction like gambling or sex.
If you need help through ministry and counseling, please contact Cohesion at 615-414-2995.